|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Nov 24, 2012 19:51:56 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -So it had not been a good few days…at all. It had started out with running into Angel’s son Connor with another woman…her rival at one time. Really the only woman that she feared taking Angel away from her…no…from their friends and family. Angel didn’t belong to her…he hadn’t in truly a long time. Not that he ever truly belonged to her since he was a human being…sort of…and you know, a human being could not technically own another one, however even in the general sense she had never felt like he belonged to her. There was always something going on and that thought bothered her.
Turning off her laptop she stood up from behind her desk. Today had been ‘Breast cancer awareness day’ at work and the staff was required to dress up as well. Going with the least amount of planning possible. All she did was throw on a pair of skinny jeans, her Ugg boots that she bought back in Rome. Pairing that with a hot pink tank top and then her North Face hoodie with a breast cancer awareness symbol on the sleeve, she was set to go. She tried to pull Joshua aside when she walked in but he was talking with the principal and had not looked to be in a happy mood, so she cleared out that thought.
To top it all off her bad mood had increased when she realized her necklace was missing. She hadn’t had time to look in her bathroom which she was assuming that was where it was, however she didn’t like being without it…or any necklace for that matter. She had a nervous habit of messing with her necklace when she was bored, annoyed, or angry, and today she really needed that but unfortunately to no avail.
Walking out of the school she headed towards the parking lot, taking corners quickly once she got herself situated and walked into the boarding house, slamming the door behind her. Okay, she was very possibly PMSing a bit but oh well. Her and Angel had some serious miscommunication and it needed to stop before this got any worse than it already had. She had no idea what his issue was and she was going to find out. She stomped down the stairs, not taking the care that she usually would to be quiet and opened his door loudly, though luckily it didn’t crash into the wall. She noted that he was sitting on his bed reading and she leaned against the wall, clearing her throat though she knew her entrance had not been missed.
“Want to tell me what is going on with you?” She asked him, her voice cold, dead, emotionless.
Word Count:: 465
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Nov 24, 2012 20:36:49 GMT -6
Over the course of the last few days, Angel had successfully avoided Buffy. It'd definitely been a difficult task but somehow he had managed to sneak by her every time. Either that or she was just fine with the two ignoring each other, but he doubted the latter. When something happened between them Buffy was almost always the first to come talk to him about it. Thus far she hadn't and he would have been lying if he'd said that it hadn't surprised him. It bothered him as well but honestly, even if she'd come to talk to him, he wasn't sure what he could have said.
During some...peculiar events, Buffy had literally forced his fangs to sink into his skin. It'd been something that he'd known she'd wanted him to do, but he'd refused to do it. So she'd gone about it like she'd always gone about everything else in life; she'd done it anyways. Pushing his face into her neck he'd been unable to pull away from her and couple that with being caught in the moment, he'd drank from her. The second he'd sank his fangs into her skin he'd known that it was wrong. He'd known that he should have pulled away but he didn't, not right away anyways. Instead he'd kept up the charade for a bit longer, having lost himself in the serenity that was the slayer's blood. When he'd finally been able to pull himself away from the bliss and actually revel in what he'd done, he'd pulled away from her. He'd refused to talk about it and had immediately left the room.
The two hadn't talked since.
Fidgeting with the daylight ring on his finger, he waited in line at the Butcher's for his pig's blood. Even though he'd had the ring for a couple of months now, it still felt strange to have the rays of the sun washing against his skin. Nonetheless it was actually something he rather enjoyed. With his blood in hand, he headed back to his car and pulled up to the Boarding house. For a moment he simply sat outside in the driveway, contemplating whether or not to go inside. It was right about the time that Buffy usually returned home from work and he was afraid of running into her. Sucking up his pride, he exited the car and headed inside.
After putting his blood away in the fridge, he went downstairs and began tidying up his bedroom. There were still some remnants in the form of clothing on the ground and he quickly picked them up, tossing them into the hamper in the corner of the room. Hearing the front door open and someone heading his way, he knew it was her, even before she actually made it down the stairs. Knowing that the confrontation was unavoidable, he sat on the edge of his bed and waited for her to burst through the door. Angel sighed. "You knew I didn't want to do that" he stated, simply boring his own eyes into hers. It was now a Mexican-Stand-off, and he would be damned before he'd give in and apologize.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Nov 25, 2012 0:52:21 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -Her face fell immediately after she heard him speak. Usually Angel was one who apologized immediately for something. However from the look on his face and the tone in his voice it was clear that he didn’t believe that he had done anything wrong…which meant that something was going on that she didn’t know. Okay, so she had already pretty much guessed that however she was quite sure just from looking at him that there was more to this than she realized and the guilt that she had been hiding from even herself pushed up again and made it hard for her to breathe.
Sighing and hunching over, her shoulders losing their squared shape as she seemed to curl into herself she took a deep breath. Walking over she stood a few feet in front of him, her eyes looking up into his. She prayed that she would be able to get through to him but she knew that it would take more than her words to do so. She still wasn’t sure what his issue was with biting her but she was determined to get to the bottom of it. Most would say for her to simply ask him but she doubted he would tell her the entire truth. She could hear his words like her safety and keeping a leash on the demon but for some reason she didn’t feel like that was the full truth. She had no idea what the full truth was but she felt like it was something more, and she was determined to figure out what.
She was nothing if not determined.
“Angel.” She whispered, trying to figure out a way to ask. She wasn’t sure how to ask or even really what she wanted to ask, but she did know that this had to be cleared up. She was suddenly feeling like a villain who took advantage of the young virgin in the movies and she wasn’t at all comfortable with the feeling. “We’ve got some miscommunication here. What’s going on? I know you hate it when you bite me but you’ve always told me it was because you didn’t like to hurt me…and I really thought that was what it was…so when I forced you…I was trying to show you that it didn’t hurt. But that’s not it…is it? Talk to me…because I’m confused and guilty and I want to know why.” She whispered, hoping that he would forgive her though she still wasn’t sure what exactly she had done wrong.
If she thought about it deep enough she would realize that he didn’t like to lose control. Angel had perfected his control over a lot of things…his bloodlust, his anger, his demon itself, all of it, over the years…and biting her was like losing that control. However she had never thought about it before and it bothered her to think about it now for she realized that she was the villain in this scenario, something that bothered her greatly.
Word Count:: 512
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Nov 25, 2012 11:43:27 GMT -6
Out of the corner of his eye, Angel knew that the slayer was moving. However he made no attempt to follow her with his eyes. Instead he simply looked down to the floor, to the comforter on his bed, to his shoes, anything to avoid meeting her eyes. Right now he knew that if he looked at her she'd make him feel bad about what had happened. She wouldn't do it on purpose but they both knew it was hard to stay mad at her. In his mind he hadn't done anything wrong to feel bad about and he wasn't going to secede. Not this time, not about this. To him this was one of the worst things he'd done in a long time and nothing was going to change that. She could try her hardest to change his mind but it wasn't happening. His foot was down at this point and it didn't plan on being raised anytime soon. So despite her walking over to him, he kept his eyes lowered.
The way she whispered his name sent chills down his spine. It always had...and it'd always been their way of greeting one another. They'd never been one for hey's and hello's. Simply saying each other's name in the breathy way that they did said it all. Hearing his name out of her lips forced him to feel a twang in his heart, though he tried to ignore it for now. Repressing all of the urges to grab her and kiss her he simply listened as she talked to him. She was still standing and it actually made it easier for him to avoid her eyes like that, which was a good thing. For some reason he felt that this might be one issue that they would never agree on. Usually Angel gave in to whatever it was that she wanted, but not this time, not over this.
A small scoff left his lips as she stated that they had a miscommunication. Angel definitely had his sarcastic moments every now and then and this seemed to be one of them. "Ya think?" he asked, his tone slightly agitated, shaking his head in disbelief. How did she not get it yet? After all of this time she still didn't understand and that quite frankly blew his mind. He thought that he'd been clear about it before, but apparently he was going to have to reiterate it.
Standing up and off the bed abruptly, he stepped past her to stand at the opposite side of the bed from her. He would have stepped by the door but he hadn't wanted her to think that he was going to leave. His hand reached back to rub the back of his neck for a moment out of frustration. "It's not about you. Not about hurting you, not about you all. It's about me" he said, finally looking up to look her in the eyes. "I don't like feeling out of control, and that's exactly how...doing that makes me feel." With this he shook his head yet again, leaning with his palm on the bedpost.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Nov 25, 2012 16:00:04 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -Hearing his words made tears well in her eyes. She hadn’t realized how selfish she sounded until that moment and felt immensely guilty. Looking down she wasn’t surprised to hear him move off the bed so that there was distance between the two. This feeling that she felt that she couldn’t fully identify was worse than she had felt before with him and it bothered her more than she could admit. She didn’t know what to say about that but she felt like she should have known. However, at the same time, he wasn’t the most talkative thing in the world and had never told her any of this.
“Angel, I’m sorry.” She whispered, her head still down. “I honestly had no idea that’s why you were so against it and if I had I wouldn’t have forced you. I don’t regret forcing you when you were dying because I knew that it wasn’t your time to die.” She stated, refusing to admit to even herself that the real reason was because she couldn’t live in a world that he didn’t exist…not anymore. She had gone through that once after sending him to hell and even though he was leaving her she still needed some sort of knowledge that he was out there.
Wrapping her arms around her midsection in an effort to feel more comforted than she did at the moment she continued to speak. “But you need to understand that I can’t read your mind. Even though I know you fairly well, I still don’t know everything your thinking. Even when I could read minds I still couldn’t read yours. So I understand that you are angry and rightfully so, but I honestly had no idea that you felt so out of control when I forced that on you and I am truthfully sorry.” She stated before looking up finally though she still wouldn’t meet his eyes, instead focusing on a spot directly over his head on the back wall.
“I won’t apologize for using my only method of healing you in order to save your life, nor will I apologize for forcing it when I cracked your skull open. I know that may sound cold and mean but it was the only thing I could do in order to help you heal. I also want you to know that if there is ever another occasion where you are poisoned and need slayer blood to heal you, I will not hesitate to do it again. I will promise that any other occasion I will not force again.” She stated before turning away, having a feeling that he wanted some space from her. She also wanted to get out of there before she could show how badly she felt as the tears threatened to fall down her cheeks.
She wiped a stray tear that had fallen without her permission and walked the few steps towards his door, hating herself for hurting him.
Word Count:: 506
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Nov 26, 2012 20:49:54 GMT -6
Watching the tears well in her eyes made him feel a pang of guilt. Despite the fact that he wasn't in the wrong didn't help him to feel any better about it either. In reality it only made him feel worse. Even though he wasn't in the wrong he still didn't want to see her cry. Seeing her cry was one of the hardest things in the world for him to watch. It broke his heart to know he was the reason she was crying. Not to mention the fact that he wasn't really wasn't one for confrontation. While he did in fact act a bit different about her, this was something that hadn't ever changed. Unless he was seriously pissed about something he didn't bring it up. Buffy usually forced it out of him anyways, though. While some might have found this irritating it was actually just another one of the reasons why he loved the woman. Even when they were fighting, she made it her mission to get to the bottom of it. And tonight, this definitely held true.
Finally looking up to look into her eyes he found himself feeling even worse at the fact that she was now hanging her head. Whereas she usually looked him right in the eye, she now shunned hers away. "I never expected you to" he interjected, at her claim that he couldn't read her mind. However she continued on anyways and he continued to look at her, though she still wasn't looking at him. Although her head raised her eyes went right on past his. His bored into hers anyways, craving the eye contact it sort of provided. "I should have stayed. I should have explained...but Buffy, I couldn't. Not when I'm feeling like that" he plead, attempting to get her to understand. He'd wanted to explain so badly at the time...he simply hadn't known how to.
Although he felt like maybe he should let her go, he knew he couldn't. No matter how things were between them he hated to end them like this. Even if it didn't last long, he simply couldn't let her go on her way in the state she was in. Angry or not he had to take the more mature route. Doing something he hadn't in a very long time, Angel was a blur of speed until he landed directly in front of her. Effectively preventing her route of escape he placed both hands out to their sides, touching the door frame so she couldn't pass him. Well, unless she bulldozed past him, but he doubted that would happen. "You can't go, not like this" he spoke quietly, voice velvety and completely composed, speaking of her tears. "You need to understand. You're the only thing that has ever made me feel like that. Like I'm on fire, like I'm out of control. I know that you like it and I'm sorry I can't do that for you. Maybe someday, but not tonight, or tomorrow, or the next day most likely. I don't want to fight with you..." his words begged. Boring his eyes into hers again, he just wished she would offer him the same in return.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Nov 26, 2012 22:21:41 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -Hearing that he never expected her to read his mind for some reason made her feel worse. Sometimes she forgot that they truly didn’t know everything about each other. She had always felt like they were two sides of the same being for some reason that she couldn’t really decipher, but realistically in that moment she realized that they weren’t. They didn’t have the same heart, the same mind. She was still an immature child compared to him and that hit her now more than ever. She had always viewed herself as selfless, yet with him she was selfish, and she hated herself for it.
She listened to him explain that he should have stayed and simply nodded, knowing that while he was telling the truth, she didn’t blame him for bolting. She would have preferred that he stayed and explained that night instead of letting things fester for days between them. She would have been a lot less angry going into this conversation had he chosen to tell her his reasons then. Hell realistically he should have stopped everything during their little tryst as she had taken to calling it and told her right then why he couldn’t do what she had practically been begging her for.
Jesus no wonder he preferred Cordelia while in LA. At least as far as she knew she hadn’t been begging him to sink his teeth into her. Could she be anymore selfish?
“I understand why you had to leave. We all feel out of control sometimes, and I understand not being able to handle that feeling.” She stated quietly, still not looking up into his eyes.
As she continued to look down as she set to walk out the door, she felt a sudden burst of wind blow by her and as she raised her eyes she was surprised to see Angel blocking her exit. She had never noticed how quickly he tended to appear out of nowhere, though she had noticed that he tended to disappear. She briefly wondered if he was really just that stealthy or if he simply moved too quickly for her to see him. Not that it mattered really but she was a genuinely curious person by nature so it was something that she wondered. Also she wondered if other vampires could do the same thing and if so why had she killed so many of them?
She heard his words but didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want it, not anymore. Not if this was the result. Jesus that made her feel even worse. She didn’t want to feel like some random slut who wanted everything, that wasn’t what she was after. That wasn’t why she liked it. She didn’t like other vampires biting her, that had always sickened her. She had never thought of letting Spike bite her, nor would she ever allow any other vampire to touch her in that way. It was because it was Angel…and as much as she hated to admit it, his fangs were the only part of him that could be inside her. It was the only way that she could feel as if she belonged to him since they still hadn’t found a way to be together yet.
She had never told Angel that nor would she ever because she knew he would start feeling guilty about his curse and that wasn’t his fault. However she had clearly done this all wrong and that needed to be rectified…immediately. “Stop. Just stop. I understand. I am the one to blame, not you. Don’t think about it again. I won’t mention it again. I am the one who needs to learn how to stop being a selfish brat.” She stated, using the words that he had said to her once before. Just because I’m not acting like a selfish brat doesn’t mean I don’t feel. Maybe she should have taken that to heart back then…because clearly she hadn’t grown as much as she thought she had.
Word Count:: 680
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Nov 30, 2012 19:55:37 GMT -6
Suddenly Angel found himself wishing that he’d leapt out his window when he’d seen her coming. It wasn’t the mature route to go, or the manly one, but at least it would have allowed him to avoid this confrontation. While she’d admitted to being in the wrong she was beating herself up so much over it that it had been feeling guilty. It made him feel guilty that she felt so badly about it, therefore making her the victim in the situation. Angel didn’t mind it so much as he found it counterproductive. Now instead of going through their issues and him telling her what’s been on his mind, he was going to console her instead. Again it wasn’t something that he minded in the slightest. Rather, again, he simply found it slightly unproductive.
The tense silence between them wasn’t something he much enjoyed at all. Quite frankly he would rather have her screaming her lungs out at him rather than her being silent such as she was at the moment. Her not talking meant that she was thinking really hard about something. Just from experience, he’d never found that to mean anything good…At least not for the most part. A silent Buffy was not something he was used to. Honestly it made him kind of nervous. Part of him wished that he could read her mind, but knew better than that. After all, he figured that some of the stuff she thought about him, he might not want to hear. Not to mention the fact that it would make talking to her pretty pointless…and, well, he loved her voice.
Shaking his head, he grew frustrated and dropped his hands to his sides and off of the door frame. For a moment he put his face in his hands before exhaling very deeply, and quite loudly. While he didn’t need to breathe he found that it made it seem a bit more dramatic when he did. Not that he wanted to seem dramatic, but it helped to show how frustrated he was at the moment. After a moment he moved to place his hands on either side of her shoulders, one on each. ”You are a brat” he said simply. Knowing this would either aggravate her or make her cry at this point, he interjected again before she had the chance to protest or well tears in her eyes. He had to be quick as this woman’s mood changed in about a half a second. ”But you’re my brat” he finished, one hand staying on her shoulder while the other moved to clasp her chin in his hands.
”Next time I’ll try not to flee the scene. Okay?” he asked, before nudging her chin with his hand again when she didn’t immediately answer him. Again before she had the chance to protest, both of his hands went to her waist and pulled her to him. Her head fell into its place in the nape of his neck and he simply held her. Angel wasn’t great with words. Well, he was, but not in situations like these. Therefore he usually found it a lot easier to show Buffy how he felt, rather than saying it. When showing her didn’t involve anything sexual, at least. Hell he’d even started doing that sort of. Then again that’s what put them in this mess to begin with. So, he simply held her, quiet as could be.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Nov 30, 2012 20:31:37 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -She sighed as she heard his words about her being a brat. It was true though, she was acting selfish and she hated herself for that. She didn’t want to always be the victim though that was clear to her now that she tended to always be that way. However tonight was not about her, it was about him. This was her mistake, not his. She needed to make up for it but with Angel she never knew how. It wasn’t like with Willow where they could eat a bunch of cookies and watch a movie and all was forgiven. Or with Xander how she would have to watch an hour of whatever television show he was into at the time and everything was forgiven. Or even with Giles where time eventually makes the wounds fade away.
With Angel though, she had no idea. Add to that another list of reasons that she felt inferior.
Hearing that she was his brat any other time would have made her smile, but not today. Today it made her feel worse. She didn’t want to be a brat, she didn’t want to be selfish, she wanted to be his partner, and she hated the fact that he didn’t feel like that was who she was. She didn’t know how to tell him this though, which was rare since she usually knew how to express herself fairly well…however today was different. This situation was different. They were different.
She still remained silent, not knowing what to say. Feeling his arms around her and her head falling to its usual place at the nape of his neck she breathed in his scent. It was a scent that she could never describe, and she had tried. After he had left she had gone with Willow to the mall one day and smelled every kind of guy’s cologne to figure out what it was that he wore, simply because she missed his scent. Her plan had been to spray his old leather jacket with his cologne to make her feel better, but she had never gotten the opportunity to do so. It was clean and spicy and all Angel. His scent alone could calm her down better than anything, she felt safe…something that was rare in her world.
Now however she felt like she wanted to jump out of her skin. She didn’t know how to approach him now. Squeezing him for a brief second she then pulled away, distancing herself from him. “I don’t want you to comfort me right now Angel…because I don’t deserve it. I am the one in the wrong here. You are the one who deserves the comforting, not me. But you don’t tell me what you want me to do to make it better. With me, you know that if I’m upset, that holding me and telling me you love me is all that I need. But with you, I don’t know. I don’t know how to make you feel better. So you’ve got to tell me. You’re not Mr. Joe here’s what I’m thinking. I can’t read your mind. So tell me. I am sorry and I promise I won’t do it again. But what can I do to make you feel better about everything? Do you want to talk about it? Do you want to fight it out? Do you want to sucker punch me? Do you want space? Tell me. Please.” She stated, her eyes boring into his.
Word Count:: 593
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Dec 1, 2012 22:46:02 GMT -6
For a moment Angel struggled to let her go. He hadn't wanted to end their hug so soon but she seemed determined to distance herself from him. Unable to struggle any longer without holding her against her will, he allowed his arms to drop off of her and fall to his side. For a moment his head cocked to the side as he looked at her while she began to rant to him. By this point in time he was quite used to her rambling on. Usually he simply listened to her until she was either finished or out of breath, whichever seemed to come first. After that he would butt in with his response, to which she never seemed satisfied completely with. The entire time she spoke he was slightly lost in his thoughts. He listened to her, but he'd already begun to think about what he wanted to say.
However this time...the words didn't come to him as easily as they usually did. As always with her he wasn't sure how to explain things to her without it coming out wrong. Even to this day after all of these years she was the only person who made him nervous. The only person who made him jealous, happy, broody, laugh, whatever it was, she was just about the only person whom had ever forced him to feel so much. A part of him had loved Cordelia, yes, and he wouldn't deny that to anyone. However it was only a fraction of his heart that belonged to her. A tiny fraction, one that wouldn't be noticed. The love for Cordelia he held didn't even come close to the love he held for Buffy. No, those two weren't even on the same level. Not even the same planet, though he knew that she thought so. It would take time to convince her but eventually he'd get it through that stubborn head of hers.
When she'd finally finished talking he placed his hands back on the door frame. One on either side of him, so that she couldn't get past the vampire. "I don't need to be comforted, Buffy" he began with a sigh. "Comforting you is the only comforting I need. You don't need to make up for it, either. If you say you won't do it again...I believe you." With this he shook his head, brows furrowing as his hands fell to his sides slowly. "I'm not a boy, Buffy, not a child. I don't need you to make it up to me. I don't need to be coddled, okay? That night I just needed space. I don't need space anymore, I don't want space." And with this, he hoped they could let bygones be bygones and forget any of it had ever happened. Not the good parts, but only the last couple of minutes where it had all gone to hell.
Moving closer to her once again, he stood with his chest nearly touching hers. Cupping her face in between both of her hands he couldn't help but notice how...little she seemed in that moment. Not young, just little. "Was a good start to being Mr. Joe-hears-what-I'm-thinking?" he asked, a small smirk creeping onto his handsome features. After all of this he simply hoped they could go back to having good times. With what they would soon be facing, they needed to enjoy their time while they still could.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Dec 1, 2012 23:27:11 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -Her mind raced as she tried to go through what she should and could do to get out of this very awkward situation that she had landed herself in. She really did not know how to leave the room without pushing him out of the way and even then she wasn’t sure if she could make it. She and Angel were fairly evenly matched strength wise and while she may have learned a few new tricks over the past couple of years, he still had a good 220 plus years on her so she doubted that if he really wanted to catch her if she would get away.
She made a random mental note to ask him one day if they could do a serious game of cat and mouse just to see who would win.
Shaking herself internally she turned her attention back to Angel who had finally let her go and now stood directly in the doorway with one hand resting on either side. Yeah, there was no way she was getting through. She could bulldoze him out of the way and run like hell but she doubted it would work and really didn’t want to hurt either one of them.
She listened to his words silently, something that was very rare for her since she was rarely ever silent. Even when someone else was talking she was usually chewing gum or pacing or tapping her fingers, something. Not shockingly to anyone she had been diagnosed with ADD when she was a kid and even though she had refused to take her medicine back then it definitely carried over at least somewhat to adulthood.
She briefly thought maybe she had beaten it but thinking back over the past few days she realized that no she hadn’t gotten over her ADD, it was just because she was uncomfortable that she wasn’t saying or doing much of anything. "I don't want to be comforted because it just makes me look spoiled and selfish, two things that I never really realized that I was and two things that I never really wanted to be." She stated honestly. "I know that when I was a kid and Dawn was born I had only child syndrome, but I never wanted you to see that part of me. So forgive me if I'm a bit ashamed of my actions." She stated a bit curtly but not in any way to him, but to herself.
"You may not be a boy Angel...I don't think anyone would ever accuse you of being a child. I doubt when you were actually a child that you acted like one. It's almost impossible for me to imagine that at one time you were a kid. You may not need to be coddled but that doesn't mean that you don't need or somewhat want some sort of comfort. It doesn't make weakness to need someone to lean on...and I really always thought that you knew that you could lean on me. Now I wonder if you really ever knew that." She told him, honesty dripping off of her words.
She knew that he was saying he wanted to forget about everything that happened and to let things lay, and she would let him think that they were for now. She didn't want him to hurt anymore. However that didn't mean she would stop thinking about it. She would however stop talking about it.
Smiling a soft smile, feeling unusually small with her face in between his hands she nodded as best as she could. "Yeah, it was a good start." She told him. "Though you could do better if you would consent to play along to twenty questions or truth or dare or something." She stated playfully, though her eyes still showed her sadness. She wanted them to get out of this funk though she didn't know how. Luckily she was a master of getting over unpleasant things...
In her line of work she had to be.
Word Count:: 680
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Dec 1, 2012 23:49:49 GMT -6
The way her eyes kept moving back and forth between him and the door, he figured she was trying to think up some plan to escape. The slayer was resourceful and nothing if not resilient, everyone knew that. However there was no way he was going to let her pass him by, not tonight, not right now. Unfortunately for her she would stay in this basement until they worked out whatever it was they were working out. Instead of attempting to run like usual he was here and he was telling her how he felt. She'd better take advantage of it, and not just shut down. If she shut down on him now...well it'd be possible that he might just flip a switch. He wasn't in the mood to avoid each other anymore and act like they were teenagers. Not in the mood at all.
Attempting not to interject while she spoke, he could have sworn that he'd already told her it had nothing to do with her. Then again they were now on a different subject but still, he didn't understand why everything always was brought back to her. As she spoke about herself and said how she was ashamed, he couldn't help but feel his eye start to twitch. Hell even his jaw twitched briefly as he tried to figure out just what in the hell to say without coming off as a complete asshole. After a moment he rubbed the back of his neck with one of his hands, before allowing it to drop to his head and releasing a short sigh. His jaw was tense as he spoke. "Again...not about you" he said, also curtly, in response to her admitting to be ashamed of herself. Everything seemed to revert back to her. No matter how much she wasn't the victim, she always seemed to play one. It didn't usually bother him and it didn't exactly bother him now, he was just trying to get her to understand. To understand that nothing that night had been about her...that she was perfect.
A slight roll of his eyes came and immediately, he'd wished he hadn't done that. If that didn't piss her off it was only going to hurt her feelings. "You don't think I know that? Just because I can lean on someone, doesn't mean that I will. And regardless, I did that night, I leaned on you. And somehow...you managed to make it about you, and what you wanted" he said, seemingly having thrown it all out on the table in that instant. Wishing he could take it back he shook his head in frustration. He hadn't meant to sound so...mean, however it'd been the truth. "Listen. All I mean is that, that night, wasn't about you. It was about me. Before I drank from you and after. You're perfect, alright? I just --- I couldn't handle it." With this, he sighed, clearly growing more and more frustrated by the moment.
Right about now, he just wanted this to be over. To him, it simply felt like beating a dead horse. It was pointless. Still holding her face in his hands, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He didn't linger there as long as he normally would have, considering his current mood, but he'd been there nonetheless. "I refuse to play truth or dare. Twenty questions, maybe" he said, his voice still slightly grumpy.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Dec 2, 2012 0:53:12 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - His words caused her to flinch as if she had been slapped…or shot. She had been both slapped and shot at least once so she knew how both felt and yet this felt ten times worse than both. Jesus, could she do anything right tonight? Apparently she should just learn to keep her mouth shut since nothing ever came out right. Honestly she had no idea where to go from there other than to scream back at him that if he really thought she was that selfish then why was he with her. However she really didn’t want to start anymore fights so she bit her lip and kept her mouth shut, simply nodding once.
“Your right.” She stated simply again not saying another word because clearly nothing would come out right. She didn’t want him to lean on her for her sake, she wanted him to do it for his. Maybe he had other people now and that was okay, as long as he had someone he could depend on because clearly it wasn’t her. However she knew if she said those thoughts out loud then he would call her selfish again and she couldn’t handle that as it was taking everything within her to keep a straight face.
She felt his lips simply peck her forehead and while it should have made her feel better it didn’t. However she also knew that she didn’t really want to feel better. Since he wouldn’t let her say anything because he considered her selfish she’d think it instead, though she would do her best not to think it in his presence. Somehow he always seemed to know at least vaguely what she was thinking and she doubted he would be amused if she was beating herself up internally, hence her having many hours a day away from him that she could think on her faults.
Realizing that she was basically rolling over and taking things in a way that wasn’t usual for her she suddenly backed away, sending him a glare. “You call me selfish? What do you think that you are? I understand that you love me and I love you more than I can say…but you have pulled some stupid selfish yourself.” She told him, not even trying to keep her voice down. She was officially fed up with everything and she had to let it out before she exploded. She was sick of walking on eggshells around him recently because of everything that had gone down between the two. She knew that she had to stop being so worried about Angel leaving her. If he was really going to let something as little as this tear him away from her then he clearly wasn’t who she thought he was.
“How many times have you walked away from you? How many decisions have you made for me without my input? I never asked you to lean on me for me, I did that for you! So how dare you call me selfish when you are just as bad!”
Word Count:: 509
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
|
|
Post by angel on Dec 2, 2012 1:07:39 GMT -6
As she admitted defeat (though he hated calling it that as it wasn't really a battle of any kid) he couldn't help but raise his brows to her. It was almost as if he'd been expecting more from her. After all she wasn't the kind to stop unless forced to. Here she'd had the perfect opportunity to jump in and start an argument and she'd let it go? Angel was confused to say the least and it definitely showed all over his face that he'd fully been expecting more from her. For a moment his lips parted slightly as if he was going to say something, but soon closed deciding it wasn't the best idea. If she was willing to let it all go than he would be as well. After all, he was sick of fighting with her tonight. They'd already let it fester for days and he couldn't take much of it anymore at this point.
Whilst holding her she pulled away from his grasp and out of his arms, giving him the typical Buffy Summers 'you're not getting off that easy' glare. Honestly he should have seen that coming considering how well he knew her. Silently he braced himself for what was about to be thrown at him. A part of him felt as if he should speak first in order to avoid this fight going any further, but he didn't even have the chance. Sooner rather than later she spoke up, and she didn't just speak up. No, she exploded.
Raising his brows in surprise, his eyes widened slightly. He honestly was shocked that she'd even said that. However he let her continue on anyways without interjecting. After all, he was quite intrigued as to what other bullshit she would spew out at the moment. By the second he felt himself growing more and more frustrated, but tried his best not to show it. When she was finally finished he gave her one last brow raise as if asking if she was done. When she didn't speak again, he dove right in. I'm just as bad? You've got to me kidding me. First of all" he began, his tone deadly. She'd just poked the bear. "You're making yourself the victim, yet again. Don't you ever notice that you're always the victim, the one wronged, in every situation? I don't think you're head could get much larger. Soon enough you won't be able to fit through my door, thankfully enough." It came out a lot crueler than he'd intended, but her words had been hurtful as well.
"Secondly, walking away from you wasn't selfish. In fact, it was the opposite. I did that for you. So you could have an normal guy in your life, and not have to deal with this" he said, gesturing with his hand to the two of them. "And you want to call me selfish? Really? You fucked Angelus, Buffy. You. Fucked. Angelus. That's just about the most selfish thing I've ever seen" he finally finished, smoke nearly coming out of his ears at this point.
[/size] |
|
|
|
Post by Buffy Anne Summers on Dec 2, 2012 1:32:13 GMT -6
- - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - -She knew that she should have kept her mouth shut but she almost felt like this had to happen. They had both been keeping things in recently that needed to come out. She had laid down and taken a lot without giving into her usual anger and blowing up simply because of the things that she had done, which meant she wasn’t at all surprised that it was thrown back into her face. For some reason they were still being polite enough by letting one another finish, almost as if they both knew this had been coming for awhile. Maybe it was wishful thinking but still. However that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to fight back. She was a stubborn little thing and always had been.
“I HAVE A BIG HEAD?” She yelled before taking a deep breath, trying to reign in her anger. She really didn’t want to wake the whole house up though she honestly wouldn’t be surprised if everyone was standing outside the door listening in. She briefly thought about going and opening it to see how many people fell inside when she did but she decided against it, not needing to give her lover anymore ammunition over her.
“You say that I have a big head, that’s rich coming from you. You act so noble but really you’re just as twisted as the rest of us! You left me for a human life.” She stated with a sneer, though the rest of the words were in a deadly calm voice as his was. “Yet you go to Los Angeles and let me just tell you I got more information about the goings on there than I ever wanted to know.” She stated with a glare.
“As for calling me selfish…you’re an asshole Angel. How many fucking times have I died so that my friends could live? Is that me being selfish? No. That’s me giving my life so that others can live their lives! You tell me that I’m selfish and maybe with you I have been and I already apologized for that…but I think that there are times when I deserve a tiny bit of selfishness after the fucking HELL I’ve been put through over the years.” She told him before shaking her head, wiping an angry tear that fell from her eyes. “Maybe if my head is so big then I won’t bother your doorstep anymore!”
She had known it was coming and yet it still stung because unfortunately that part was true. She had been selfish when it came to Angelus. She had known what she was doing was wrong and yet she said screw it and did it anyway. She still to this day couldn't understand why she had done it. “You’re right.” She told him, her tone a bit softer though nowhere near done with her anger. “However I’m not the only one who made mistakes Angel! You fucked your damn sire and got her knocked up, letting her kill people with her lovely little pet Drusilla. Yeah, you think I didn’t hear about you letting Darla and Dru kill a bunch of people? You must think a lot better of Spike than he is if you don’t think that he’s told me everything!” She yelled, her anger returning tenfold.
Word Count:: 562
Tag:: Angel
Outfit:: Click here for Buffy’s outfit
Note:: ---------
- - - - - - - - - - - |
|
