Dear Diary...Love Elena

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

How do you deal with things that aren't supposed to be true? My boyfriend...is a vampire. His brother...is a vampire. My biological mother...is a vampire. My best friend...is a witch.

Is anyone except me normal anymore? I don't know how to deal with things anymore. I wish I could talk to someone who went through it...but who?


Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[center][color=white][size=8][b]- [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] -[/b][/size][/color]
[IMG]http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt270/Bella222009/Cell%20Phone%20Templates/Elenadiary_zps18ba2313.gif[/img]
[color=white][size=8][b]- [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] -[/b][/size][/color]
[blockquote][blockquote][img]http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt270/Bella222009/Cell%20Phone%20Templates/deardiary_zpsc44a58a0.png[/img]

TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT

TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT TEXT

[color=007F7F]L[/color]ove,

[IMG]http://i618.photobucket.com/albums/tt270/Bella222009/Cell%20Phone%20Templates/elenaname_zpsaeb8f091.png[/IMG][/blockquote][/blockquote][color=white][size=8][b]- [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/color] - [color=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] - [COLOR=007F7F]-[/COLOR] -[/b][/size][/color][/center]

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

There are days...more often than not...that I feel completely alone. I'm surrounded by people that I love and yet there is still something inside that says I am always alone. I would never tell anyone that, well, I would have, had my one true confidant not disappeared. No, it's worse, he's still here, a shell of who he was. The mocking smile does just that, it mocks. The leering words leave lips that once used to whisper promises that will never be kept.

So why do I keep trying? Why don't I lose hope?

Because hope is all I have. It's we lose hope...why do we bother?

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

I went back earlier and re-read some of my old diary entries...some of them were ridiculous, some of them were sad, and others I simply stared at because I couldn't believe that I had ever been that naive.

One line stuck out to me. I didn't know that Stefan was a vampire yet, it was written after our first night when we had stayed up all night talking. I wrote For the first time in a long time, I feel completely and undeniably wide awake. For once, I don't regret the day before it begins. I welcome the day... Because I know... I will see him again. Was it ever really that simple? It's difficult for me to even remember a time when I could just enjoy life... I miss him. More than I care to admit.

Will things ever go back to the way that they used to be?

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

Today was hell on earth...and that is not an exaggeration. It started out badly enough with Lexi forcing me to go to Stefan's surprise birthday party...a feat to which I knew was going to end badly. I was not wrong. At first I thought I was getting into his head and I was...he admitted that he loved me and while it was something that I desperately needed to hear... I thought it meant more than it did.

I thought I could handle it. I thought I could be the strong one for once...yet it seems as if once again I couldn't be more wrong. How will I fix this? How will this get better? Not only that but now Damon's gone. And we've got Originals running around and Hybrids and god knows what else. Jeremy has said more than once that we'll never make it out of this town alive.

I think for the first time I'm starting to agree.

I need sleep...and some advil.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

I find it strange how things change so quickly. Things are just different, or maybe I should say I am looking at them differently. Stefan's gone...and I don't know what to say...or what to do to bring him back. Lexi tries to reassure me...she tells me that she knows how to bring him to himself again, but I don't know if I can believe this time. I've taken up where Damon left off, tracking their victims. Yes, their, because Damon is with him. I thought it was hard when Damon was here, being his blunt self but still promising to bring Stefan home.

Things are even worse now.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

I got cut off earlier. Bonnie and Jeremy have been trying to keep my mind off of things but they just keep piling up. Everywhere I look, I have a memory of us... whether it's good or bad it doesn't seem to matter. They keep coming at me from all sides.

Lexi went and cleaned up the boarding house, she refused to let me go back there until she had gotten it straightened up. I didn't tell her but I hadn't planned on going back there period. Unfortunately I cannot contain my own curiosity. Walking into Stefan's room was like walking into a museum. Our first night together happened there, I found out about Katherine there, I found out about being adopted, Klaus, everything happened there.

It seemed as if the room mocked me every second I was in it...needless to say I didn't stay long.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

I got one of my college acceptances back today. Stanford, though how I got in with the amount of absences I have I'll never know. They accepted me into their English program... and for a moment I wanted so badly to run down and tell my mom.

Stupid huh?

They even offered me a scholarship, something about being a founding family member of a small town. Who knows. Everything fit, and I could go.

But I know I won't leave Mystic Falls. I can't leave Jeremy...or anyone else for that matter.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

I talked to Matt today...and I feel terrible with how the whole supernatural craziness has affected him. I knew it had but I'll admit I didn't think about it as much as I should have. I hope for his sake that he will take my words to heart and know that I'll try and keep him out of it as much as possible.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

Stefan and I are in Italy!!! We haven't done much yet because of course it took forever to get here but we are in ITALY! I will write more later, just wanted to express how wonderful my boyfriend is.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -

[Elena Isobel Gilbert]

- - - - - - - - - - -

- - - - - - - - - - -

So today was a day full of interesting twists. It was insane to spend time with Stefan in Italy. However it one of the best experiences in my life because we were finally able to be just Stefan and Elena. Not a doppelganger and a vampire...not the drama couple of the century...just Stefan and Elena. Two people in love.

We needed it...and I'm not going to be ready for it to end anytime soon.

Love,

- - - - - - - - - - -