I Feel Free (Ethan)

[rupertgiles]

Giles was surprised. It was a welcome surprise, but nonetheless, the amount of leisure time he had after destroying that horrid artifact was quite amazing. The Witches’ coven had not contacted him with any new information. His flight back to Rome wasn’t leaving until tomorrow. The only thing that seemed to bother Giles was that Buffy seemed to be withdrawing from him, as if she had something she was hiding from him. He worried about that. But she was an adult now, twenty-five years old and capable of running her life on her own. Giles had his own priorities to attend to, making sure the Watcher’s Council and Academy were running smoothly. There was only a limited amount of time that he could allow Andrew to run things before a mistake was made.

But today’s afternoon was so balmy and inviting that Giles found himself out of his hotel and walking about the charming town center of Richmond, Virginia. The town itself was large enough to have a nice selection of shops and restaurants without having an urban feel. It vaguely reminded Giles of Sunnydale. Although whether that was because it truly was akin to the now destroyed Californian town or because of nostalgia of some sort, Giles couldn’t say. The reality was that Giles had a lot of pressure on him right now to rebuild the Watcher’s Council and ensure that the training of all the potential Slayers went as well and efficiently as possible. It wasn’t ordinarily so stressful and Giles did think of it as a great honor to do so, but in this moment, Giles found nothing else to make himself useful other than relaxing a bit.

Although, Giles actually wasn’t wandering aimlessly. He had inquired at the hotel desk if there was a music retailer anywhere in Richmond, and when he learned that there was one, a local chain that specialized in guitars, Giles felt a certain longing to play again. It had been a few months since he last practiced and, oddly enough, now seemed as good of a time as ever to pick up a guitar again. He finally set his eyes on the shop and entered, barely receiving a glance from the young man at the counter.

Other than the clerk, the shop was empty, though the cluttered shelves and instruments on display in the middle of the floor gave it a more claustrophobic feeling. Of course, Giles went directly to the wall lined with guitars. Most of them seemed to be Martins, Taylors and Gibsons, but it was a Breedlove with a spruce top that caught Giles’ eye. He plucked the guitar from its stand and made his way to a piano, sat on the bench and began to tune the guitar. The young man at the register seemed to pay him no mind, so Giles began to play a bit. It was quite therapeutic and everything came back easily and soon the Watcher was starting a song. Without anybody around except a petulant teenager, Giles felt he could sing a bit as well, though still a bit under his breath. He chose a Cream song, ‘I Feel Free’, which would be a nice warm up, since it was pretty straightforward in chord progression and rhythm. Giles skipped the introduction and began where the drums and guitar kicked in.

“Feel when I dance with you, We move like the sea. You, you're all I want to know. I feel free, I feel free, I feel free. I can walk down the street, there's no one there, though the pavements are one huge crowd. I can drive down the road, my eyes don't see, though my mind wants to cry out loud,” Giles paused for a second and played another note on the piano. Something in his tuning was off.

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 638
NOTES: This is a boss Cream song, btw.

[ethanrayne]

"Sharp."

The word came from behind Giles, and relatively close. Ethan had made himself rather cozy on the piano bench that was sitting across from the one Giles had placed himself on. His elbows were propped up on the closed piano lid, behind him and acting as a shelf for his elbows. His feet were resting squarely on the bench across from him, directly near Giles' hip. He appeared as if he had been sitting there for quite some time and have managed to make himself look at home.

"You were a little sharp. 8 out of 10, though, for such heartfelt execution," he offered by way of explanation.

Three years in the slammer, and Ethan just couldn't help himself. He really wanted to play a visit to that corn fed Iowa (or whatever state he was from) boy to thank him for the vacation, but when one is with a government organization, one does not tend to be listed in the white pages. The other option was finding dear sweet Buffy, but, really, she had been a hapless bystander in the whole thing. The look on her face was gloriously priceless when she thought she had killed her beloved Watcher. Oh, Ethan knew that everything would work itself out. Sure, Rupert has almost been killed by his own Slayer, but certainly there were no hard feelings anymore.

So, the only option, of course, was to visit an old friend...

Ethan wished he had an apple. He was certain that if he had an apple to munch on, and the pulp to smirk around, the image of him leaning against the piano would be complete. But then, he wouldn't be able to say anything. No one likes to look at someone talking with a mouth full of half eaten fruit. On second thought, no apple. The aesthetic was there, but none of the drama. Good call!

"But then, you always had a weakness for Cream, didn't you?" The smile on his face was the same grin that he always had when he expected things to get very interesting very quickly. He prepared himself for the physical abuse that might be coming his way. He doubted that Rupert would do anything with a witness present, but Ethan did have a tendency to bring out the more violent side of Ripper. There was at least going to be a threat thrown his way, but he just smiled there and waited for it.

Word Count: 427 Tag: Giles Notes: Makes you wanna hit em, huh?
Credit: Jax

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[rupertgiles]

The first instinct that Giles had was to flip the guitar around and crack it across his former friend’s head. How Ethan Rayne had gotten into that position, as if he was sunning himself on a cruise ship, in the brief moment that Giles had his back turned was curious, but more than that, it was strange that Ethan could be sitting there at all. The last time Giles had seen the sorcerer, he was being stuffed into a police car, while Giles had looked on with glee. After all, it was nice to see the man who turned you into a mindless horned beast-demon go to jail to rot.

”Ethan,” The bitterness was evident in the Watcher’s voice, although he remained calm. Ethan would always try to get under Giles’ skin, but it was a pretty fruitless endeavor. When it came down to it, Giles knew he had more power and as long as he remained sober, Ethan could not take advantage of him. He regarded his old friend with a cool glance and a thin frown. Ethan probably wanted Giles to respond with more witty banter, to play whatever sick sadistic game he somehow came up with while being locked up. However, unless the chaos-loving fool had something of use to tell him, Giles was sure he would soon be leaving to find authorities to put Ethan behind bars again.

”What do you want?” Giles asked, sure that he wouldn’t get a straight answer at first. However, Ethan also knew that Giles had no patience for him. He took his right hand from the guitar and leaned forward to place it on Ethan’s knee. With a push from his thumb, Giles’ squeezed the other man’s knee cap near to the point of dislocation and held it there. It was a quiet gesture to be sure, not as satisfying as smacking him across the face with a steel-stringed guitar, but it looked more innocent than a lot of the other ways Giles wanted to hurt Ethan.

It probably looked like he was just engaging a familiar acquaintance in conversation, but he was confident that Ethan was feeling enough pain to know Giles was serious and not enough pain to scream bloody murder. If Ethan were to try to move his leg away, one twitch from Giles’ thumb would make it so he couldn’t properly use that leg for a bit. Hopefully, this warning would be encouraging enough to have Ethan state his business and go, ”If you want to walk out of this shop without a limp, I recommend you answer me quickly.”

Giles glanced towards the irresponsible shop boy and back to Ethan, his face expressionless. Ethan had made a mistake trying to bother Giles. Though they were in broad daylight, Giles’ face and iron grip on Ethan’s knee proved that ‘Ripper’ was still very much alive and willing to do what he needed to do, despite who was watching. The watcher was sure that something was happening in this town and Ethan’s presence was simply another affirmation of this.

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 512
NOTES: I think Ethan’s great :D. Giles wants to hit him, though.

[ethanrayne]

Ethan decided that he needed to make an addendum to one of his previous thoughts. Rupert would never do anything outwardly violent with a witness present. Ethan had forgotten that Ripper had more devious methods swimming around in his ways. Subtle. One might even say insidious.

Try as he might to keep his features schooled as the guitar whittled its way into the fleshy space between his joint and his patella, he could not help but let it show on his face. His jaw set tightly, and his eyes swam from the intensity. He tried to set his mouth into a smile of disregard, but failed almost immediately, so he gave up. It was a breed of pain that Ethan had gotten soft to, that carnal punishment that he hadn't received in the hoosegow. For all his magical might, Ethan could never take a hit very well, and Giles had always been the physical stronger man. Rupert had him by the kneecap, for certain, no ifs ands or buts.

But for all his mettle, he did not call out. He had more willpower than that. It was true, the boy behind the counter was a typical oblivious teenager, but he could spring into action as vigilant citizen and full weight hero at the drop of a hat. Why did people always want to be heroes, anyway? The most anyone ever got for it was a clip in the local newspaper, and hand shake from the Prime Minister, and the Key to the City. On second thought, I may give that hero thing a try sometime...

At the moment, though, there were more pressing (literally) matters to tend to. His hand closed around the guitar neck, futile, more as an involuntary response than an actual attempt to remove the invading object. He, frankly, had no hope in that. At least he could still illicit a response from his old friend. Some day, Rupert might attempt to take the higher road, and actually just walk away. If it came right down to it, Ethan did not think that he could handle it if Giles ever regarded him with apathy. But I won't be telling anyone that, now will I?

His hand around the guitar neck tightened, channeling as much of the pain from his knee to his hand. It would keep him from screaming the second he opened his mouth. He locked eyes with Rupert, eyebrows raising in a serious mark. "Now, then, Rip. How on earth are we supposed to have a civil conversation if you are going to be like that?" His jaw was still tight, so it was hard for the words to come out in an even keel. He just wanted to get the pain to stop... and to walk away without that limp that Rupert threatened.

Word Count: 479 Tag: Ripper Notes: I love how their meetings always end up with Giles hurting Ethan. =^.^=
Credit: Jax

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[rupertgiles]

Seeing Ethan’s reaction gave Giles a small amount of gratification, and, as planned, the sorcerer neither screamed nor tried to get away. It was almost tempting to snap that one and move on to the other one as a means to make Ethan explain his presence, but that would make Ethan cry out and Giles really wasn’t in the mood to bother with that. He just wanted his peaceful afternoon to continue without pesky reminders of his past. The watcher allowed Ethan to take the guitar neck into his hand, and Giles noted the strings dig into his old friend’s palm without any remorse. It really wasn’t that Giles was truly enjoying seeing this man in pain, not in any pure form of happiness, anyway. He simply knew that pain was the greatest motivator for Ethan. For Ethan it had probably felt like an eternity, but it had only been a few seconds for Giles. Giles could keep this up all day.

And yet, even with his spineless nature, Ethan goaded his Giles a little more, asking him to have a ‘civil conversation’. It was almost funny that Ethan would be trying that when it was so evident he was in pain. Giles wondered if it was possible that Ethan was only here to aggravate him, but it was unlikely. If there wasn’t actually any point to his impromptu visit, Giles would gladly drag him out into an alleyway for a traditional beating and Ethan knew that as well. That being said, their familiarity with each other was a double-edged sword in these charades the sorcerer tried. Ethan, though in danger of being pummeled, was not completely stupid and right now was probably one step ahead of Giles. He was withholding the information to make Ripper behave.

Giles continued to stare at Ethan with a rather blank look. Even though the anger still simmered inside of him, Giles gave a little yank on the guitar, having it leave Ethan’s knee as well was wresting it from the warlock’s grasp. The message had been sent and Ethan knew that Giles could easily return to causing him pain if necessary. If giving him this would make Ethan tell Giles his purpose for being there, Giles would do it. His expression didn’t waver as he said, ”Civil is the last word I would use to describe you.”

The watcher even set the guitar down, having the neck lean on the piano behind him to prove he was more willing to negotiate than before. Giles was not going to mince words, but it was more important to know what was going on in Ethan’s head, ”Now talk,” Giles demanded, his voice containing the ‘or else’ that he had not said aloud. If the other man attempted any more small talk, Giles would simply have to persuade him again.

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 475
NOTES: Ethan just can't help making Giles mad, can he? ;3

[ethanrayne]

Blissful release came when the guitar was removed, even if the pressure of it no longer being there, and blood returning to the kneecap, was a burning one. He could feel his pulse return to it, not really realizing that it had been gone in the first place until its humble return. He rubbed the spot, attempting to return whatever supply of blood that it needed.

To Giles' comment about Ethan being incapable of civility, Ethan could not help but pout ever so slightly. "Now, Rip, there is not need to be that way..." He recanted the statement quickly, putting his hands up in a sign of surrender, albeit brief. "Though I do deserve that. Actually, that's what I am here to talk to you about."

Ethan turned to face Giles, his knee still in quite a bit of pain, but it was ignorable in light of what he had to say. He looked bold, and sighed deeply, as if he was dredging up the strength to say something very serious and heavy, like he was trying to life a weight off his shoulders.

"Rupert, I have been a sorry excuse for a friend, really I have. And I must thank the people of the American military for helping me see my faults. I'm a changed man. It's why they let me out. I even work for them now. I am ready to turn away from my evil ways, and make amends to all the people that I have wronged. It is part of the program, after all... " He paused, taking a deep breath, and looking back at Giles, realizing that his gaze had drifted to the floor as he had spoken. "But I digress... You are one of the people that I have wronged the most, old friend. And I am here to say..."

He leaned in very close to Giles, almost as if what he had to tell him was a very deep secret, one that he did not want to share with the rest of the world. He placed his hand over Rupert's in an old sign of camaraderie and long forgotten friendship. His eyes looked nigh with tears when he finished.

"I'm sorry."

Word Count: 407 Tag: Giles Notes: Banging it out to the cheap seats... or genuine apology?
Credit: Jax

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[rupertgiles]

Giles felt all of his muscles tense as Ethan went on in his usual way, being the plastic, smooth-talking, emotion-twisting charlatan Giles had gotten used to seeing him as. There was some sort of game Ethan was playing, and it frustrated the watcher to no end that he hadn’t figured it out. Perhaps it was as simple as Ethan just wanting to get under Giles’ skin and drive him crazy for a bit. If that was the case, Giles had to admit Ethan was winning. He listened to the warlock’s story, still skeptical and cold in all of his features. He barely blinked as Ethan moved forward, closing the distance between them to be awkwardly close.

Glancing down at Ethan’s hand covering his own, Giles’ brow furrowed for a moment, before he looked back up to see Ethan’s eye glazed over, apparently with grief. And then he apologized. Giles’ felt his mouth involuntarily screw up into a grin, and his teeth bit the inside of his lip. But try as he might, Giles let a small snigger escape, and then the flood gates opened. He didn’t really mean to laugh in Ethan’s face, but that’s what was happening, and Giles was trying his best not to double over from how hard his giggles had hit him. After a moment, the watcher finally managed to calm himself enough to place his free hand against his mouth in a fist, as if he was trying to force his laughter back down. He was still shaking a bit with silent laughter as he looked back up to catch Ethan’s eye. Back in the day, Giles would be somewhat concerned that Ethan would be put out by this, but here and now, Giles expression clearly read of his amusement and utter disbelief. If he felt sorry for his outburst, it certainly didn’t show.

The ex-librarian gave a long sigh, followed by one last chuckle as he flipped his hand to grab Ethan’s and gently placed the offending hand back on its owner’s leg. Giles didn’t have to be violent when his words would make Ethan suffer, one way or another, ”You honestly expect me to believe that?”

”If there was a new special operative program, I would have been informed of it,” Giles plainly stated. He was the leader of the new Watcher’s Council, after all. Even though he hadn’t had contact with the military group that Riley headed in a while, he was certain that they would have told him if they were letting a sociopath join their ranks. Giles continued, not done breaking down Ethan’s argument, “And if you mean the standard American military, that’s impossible as well, since there’s no way you’ve gotten your hands on a green card.”

”Besides, even if you were being sincere, you know me well enough to not expect my forgiveness,” Giles concluded, his voice even, but irritated and a bit tired, ”Do you want to try again? Or, perhaps instead I should guess. Are you looking for a loan? Or is your plan to have us go out drinking again and turn me into some other kind of monstrosity?”

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 524
NOTES: Dear lord, I love the way you play Ethan.

[ethanrayne]

Ethan could not help but smile as Giles got it all out. Deep down, down down under all the chaos, a part of him was stung at the fact that his old friend saw him so long gone that he was past the point of redemption. But that was buried under all the years of malice and devilry that he had been breeding all these years. He barely even felt that anymore. He doubted that, in his glee, Rupert even noticed the ounce of protective emptiness that flood his eyes, before it went back to the mirth of mischief.

“'New' special operative team, Rupert? Really? I never knew you to be so naïve. Passe, maybe, but never naïve.” He leaned forward, his voice getting lower, a secretive tone emphasizing the truth of his words. “Where do you think they had me this whole time? In a normal prison? Please.” He had learned how to play with Ripper a long time ago. While lies and cons were Ethan's bread and butter, a drop of the truth was just what was needed to keep him hooked. Proof, even if it was only a logical train of thought, kept him coming back for more.

“As for working for them, I do. It is part of my parole, my terms of release, as is my temporary citizenship. I won't be deported as long as I play nice.” Ethan gave him his most charming smile. And so far, Ethan had not done anything wrong, so he wasn't lying when he said that was “playing nice.” Maybe tomorrow, but today was a “Ethan plays it safe” day.

“If anything, you are the one who has committed un-aggravated aggravated assault. You're lucky I like you. I won't press charges.” Ethan never would. Everyone else was so boring. There was a line that Ethan had to tow. It had gotten to close to call last time, with the whole Fyarl business. Maybe he pushed too far... I suppose getting him to go out drinking again is scratched off the list. Burning bridges...

”And no. I don't want a loan. I just wanted to say hello to an old friend. You are the first person that I wanted to see after I got out.” Take it or leave it.

Word Count: 406 Tag: Giles Notes: Long time coming... thanks for the patience...
Credit: Jax

[rupertgiles]

”I know where you were,” Giles muttered, almost defensively. The watcher heard this in his own voice and reminded himself to stay neutral. He had let himself open up too much with his laughing fit, and being called naïve by Ethan sobered him again. It was safest for Giles to remain cold and impartial, leaving no place for Ethan to pick at. But Ethan was keeping to this story of him working for the military. Perhaps there was some sort of program in the detention center the warlock was kept at after all. If the program was run through the prison rather than the military directly, then it would be possible Giles hadn’t been informed of it after all. With a small, terse sigh, Giles asked, ”What exactly are you doing for them?”

”Neither one of us are honest men,“ Giles admitted as Ethan brought up the Ripper’s violent tendencies. In the grand scheme of things, perhaps Giles was even more evil than Ethan was. Giles had betrayed and lied to those he loved and had even killed an innocent man with his bare hands, all in the name of the greater good. In comparison, Ethan merely caused mass panic which sometimes inadvertently caused death. Well, and he did try to escape Eyghon killing him by using Buffy as a decoy. In any case, like Ethan had once said, they were two old mystics whose time had passed, and they both probably had blood on their hands in one respect or another.

Upon Ethan’s insistence that he was only here to see him, Giles looked back up into his old friend’s eyes, his cool glare finally settling back in, ”I’m flattered,” The watcher said in a dry tone that proved the opposite to be true. Well, it was a complicated feeling Giles was having. On the one hand, Ethan was, to put it lightly, a deceitful swindler that Giles could probably live his live perfectly fine without ever talking to again. On the other hand, Ethan was someone who knew him, who… strangely enough, accepted all of him and liked it. Even at this point in his life, Giles was still struggling to hide his darker inclinations from his Slayer and her friends. Whenever his Ripper persona came into play, it just seemed to create distance between him and his loved ones. But Ethan… Ethan seemed to thrive on Giles’ frigid anger, as if it was a challenge to get past. Being with him was easy, in a way. They simply knew each other much too well. Perhaps it would be best to be straightforward this time around rather than harsh.

”Ethan,” Giles let all of the anger drop out of his voice, though his gaze was still focused on the warlock, ”Are you really just looking for me to forgive you?”

This felt rather uncomfortable for him, to let his guard down around Ethan, even this small amount. Giles expected every word he could say and every inch he gave to Ethan to be abused by the man, and frankly, Giles was certain he had every right to think that way. After that brief moment of thought, the ex-librarian added,”Because it seems every time I try to give you my trust, you simply break it further. If you truly want to make amends, give me a reason to. Tell me what you want from me.”

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 565
NOTES: ~

[ethanrayne]

Giles looked at him with a searching sincerity. Ethan could feel a small victory swell in the back of his head. Somewhere in his mind, he even did a little mental dance to celebrate this tiny triumph. He absolutely adored it when Rupert dropped his defenses around him. It made him think of little kittens, rolling over so that their mothers could clean their tummies. So cute, and vulnerable. It let Ethan know that he was doing a good job, that he deserved a pat on the back...

And that he deserved to burn in Hell...

No, no, no. Please, Janus, no...

For the first time, pretty much since he had been back in school, a swell of guilt welled up at the base of his spine. It pulled his posture tight, and settled into his jaw. It felt like a bee sting, the kind where the little blighter latches on and just keeps stinging, and the wound keeps getting full of venom, and that poison just pumped through you body by a traitorous heart.

What did those bastards do to me?

Unfortunately, he was not able to keep it off his face. He started pondering on all the things that had happened while he was “inside.” All the special treatments for his “idiopathic megalomania.” The group therapy sessions where they had to talk about their feelings. He thought he had played his part well, keeping the chaos loving glee in his heart fully intact. And it still was, for all intensive purposes. But he found out that while most people thought he was evil, he was just self serving...

And he talked about Rip. A lot.

Cognitive content being processed at the speed of thought, Ethan was not speechless, truly, for a long period of time. But it was that trust, more so the desire to trust, on Rupert's face that somehow break Ethan's heart.

“See, now, why did you have to go and do that? Errg...” The last sound of exasperation came out through clenched teeth. “Here I was, all ready to take you for another ride, all willy, and dare I even say, nilly. And then you had to go and be all...” He seemed to struggle to find the right word, and finally spat it out. “...Genuine. Emotionally authentic! Vulnerable, even. And I feel for you... Oh, gods... I feel for you!”

It was like dawn breaking over a mountaintop. That's when the panic started to set in. They were there. Somehow, in the past three years, he had been reprogrammed. He thought he had been giving the system a ride, but it was them who conned him!

Feelings...

“Rupert, you've got to help me! They did something to me in there... I actually... feel bad!”

Word Count: 462 Tag: Giles Notes: Kinda like having a mental break...
Credit: Jax

[rupertgiles]

In what seemed like a ridiculously small amount of time, Giles watched as the man sitting across from him went from self-assured to anxiety-ridden. And finally, the confession that Giles had been waiting for happened, but it was presented in such an unexpected way that Giles could feel himself physically draw back a bit. What in the world was Ethan going on about? In any case, Giles felt a strong urge to stand up and walk away before any more of this nonsense continued. The sorcerer had admitted his true purpose was to cause Giles more problems, and Giles had not the patience or time to deal with such folly.

But then again, this was an Ethan Giles had never really seen before. He had known the man to wheedle and grovel and pout, but to have Ethan Rayne express that he was losing control—something was wrong. Even in his tricks and schemes, Ethan usually kept his placid, sadistic smile close at hand, and now it was neither fear of pain or smugness that Giles saw in the warlock. Giles wondered if Ethan had gone mad for a moment, but upon Ethan blurting out that something had happened during his incarceration, the watcher quickly pieced together the puzzle.

”Emotional behavior modification? That’s…” Giles’ voice trailed off, as it did when he was searching for the precise word he wanted, ”Fascinating.”

Although, the way he said it, it was clear that the watcher was unsure in how he felt. Perhaps this was a blessing, something that could return Ethan to being a decent human being. For instance, the behavior modifying chip implanted in Spike’s brain was one of the first factors in his journey to redemption. However, that wasn’t tampering with a human’s mind. No matter how twisted and insufferable a human could be, there were certain morals that should be upheld. Giles was just unsure as to whether he thought those morals should apply to Ethan.

”Help you, though?” Giles echoed his old friend. The watcher tilted his head and gave Ethan a cynical look, ”Have you considered that the facility that held you already did? If even a single drop of empathy keeps you from attempting your insufferable exploits, you could possibly lead a respectable life instead of trying to… annoy everyone to death. Honestly, did you think you could keep playing these sordid little games for the rest of your life?“

This was a strange sensation Giles was going through. Could it be, after all these years, the key to ruining Ethan was killing him with kindness? Oh, yes, Giles had always felt some kind of pleasure in watching Ethan cower when threatened with physical force, but just by being a little giving and defenseless, Giles had somehow cracked the warlock’s veneer. Perhaps it was worth a shot. Giles was nothing if not adaptable when it came to getting what he wanted, and right now, torturing Ethan about this a bit was pretty high on that list.

”Now, when you say you’re feeling… bad, do you mean to say that you’re actually feeling guilty for what you’ve done to me?” The corners of Giles’ mouth screwed up into a smile of sorts, ” And why exactly should I try to stop you from feeling? I’m being rather entertained by this.”

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 553
NOTES: :3 I'm happy I get to work on this thread again.

[ethanrayne]

“Fascinating...”

“Fascinating” he said! Like he was witnessing a chemical reaction that he had all but partially expected! He said it with such whimsy, too. An entertaining cherry atop a victorious sundae. Something to write home about, no doubt. Rupert was probably going to leave here and tell all of his mates about this, get a good laugh out of how Ethan Rayne had been turned into the shell of the man he once was, all at a little trip to the hoosegow.

Or maybe Ethan was just overreacting.

“I am always felt, Rupert. I've just never bad. And yes, I bet you are just loving this, Rip. What do you want me to say? I played nice in there. Did my time, with every intention of getting out into the world and going right back to my old ways. I never once thought, for an instant, that they actually got into my head, and implanted a conscience!”

Ethan was getting fervid, and impassioned. His speech was getting louder, and the conversation had gone from quiet with flirtation on the edge of malice to something else entirely. Subtly was becoming an issue, and the attention of the lone store clerk was starting to be turned back to them. Ethan would have a few choice words for the boy if he dared to say anything, but for now they were in the proverbial clear.

It was quiet clear to Ethan that the break down he was having was not from anything that the Initiative may have done to him. He was used to folk manipulating his will, if only for fun or profit, and knew how to get around these things. It didn't happen often, but more than one unhappy warlock had attempted a compulsion spell on him. By sticking to the letter of the word, Ethan had been able to step around many a contract or order. But this was different. This was someone toying with his emotions, and he did not handle that well.

Few had been able to sway his heart, much less his mind. “And I know that you want to help me, because in your heart of hearts you know this is not right. It's unnatural, and some might argue, downright evil. Messing with free will and all that...” Or anything that will get you to help me! “But yes... I feel... guilt.” The last word was accompanied with an expression that would be better suited for someone tasting sour milk.

“But don't think for an instant that it will keep me from sending a mean hex into the world!”

Word Count: 446 Tag: Giles Notes: ___
Credit: Jax

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[rupertgiles]

Giles’ slightly smug grin dropped as Ethan continued to spiral further into bitterness and resentment. It seemed as if Giles’ amused reaction just made the other man more determined to elicit Giles’ help, and as Ethan complained, part of Giles still found this to be priceless dark humor, and another part found it extremely irritating that Ethan was raising his voice.

”Oh, shut up,” Giles snapped at the warlock under his breath. Perhaps defeating him through compassion was going to be harder than he thought, considering how much Ethan aggravated him at times. And Ethan’s complete meltdown at the concept that he might feel bad was something that made the watcher grit his teeth a bit, ”You won’t be solving anything by acting like a child.”

The watcher gave a small nod of his head, being much more reserved than Ethan probably wanted him to be about the subject of the control of someone’s emotions, ”The ethics involved are questionable. However, I doubt I have enough authority, resources or concern to put you as you were.”

He could admit that Ethan was right about the moral implications, but as the warlock had once said himself, they weren’t particularly fond of each other. Knowing what was right and wrong and acting accordingly were two separate things. Ethan knew that, of course, but it irritated Giles that the other man was trying to manipulate him through appealing to his sense of righteousness. Even without his frantic behavior, Giles could tell that Ethan was desperate from that alone. However, expending time and energy on Ethan when Giles had plenty of work waiting for him in Rome was absurd. It was possible for Giles to research a spell or use his connections to help Ethan, but it would take much longer than one afternoon, and that was all the time Giles could stand to be around the man. Not to mention, Giles failed to see what he would earn by helping his old friend, since any good will he could feel by relieving Ethan’s pain would be dwarfed by the chaos Ethan would wreak later.

”Of course not,” Giles muttered in response to Ethan’s devotion to chaos and magic, rolling his eyes. He simply picked up the Breedlove and returned it to its stand on the wall, and began to head for the door. The watcher paused just for a moment, looking out the music shop’s windows and spying some kind of dive pub across the way. It was late enough in the afternoon that it would probably be open. Giles’ gaze drifted down towards Ethan again, ”I’m afraid there’s nothing to be done about you having a conscience. I’m leaving. If you choose to follow me, perhaps I can give you a few tools to learn how to cope with your newfound… feelings,” and with that, Giles made to leave.

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 477
NOTES: ~

[ethanrayne]

Rupert did the most amazing thing then. He got up and tried to walk away. No real threats were made. No more acts of violence. Just a calm willingness to leave, and not really pay anymore regard to Ethan or anything that he made need to say or do. The calm sound of the Breedlove latching back onto its home was a steady gavel from a passive judge Rarely was Ethan faced with such indifference, and never had such numbness been directed at him from Rupert.

What happened? There used to be such passion between the two of them. Whether they were partners in crime, or at each others throats, their decades of each others company had always been filled with high emotion. Even just a few years ago had been a regular experiment into the depths of rage, a warm feeling that filled a person to the very soul. Now, with the chiding words of Giles calling him “a child,” and a finality to those footsteps towards the door, Ethan found himself at an impasse.

What was it that even made Ethan care? Why should he? It was Ripper that had turned his back on him, and Ethan didn't owe him a single thing. He had to admit, Rupert's exit from his life is very much what kept him coming back. Through the mysteries of the life he lead, for all the minions, and all the masters, Giles was the only one of them who ever cared. And at the end of the day, maybe that was all Ethan needed. One person.

And now, that one person was ready to give up on him. Ethan could handle anything that Rupert could throw at him, be the slings of nasty words, or the throw of a well placed fists. Break my bones, stab my ego, just please... Don't go away. And now... apathy. And Ethan could not take it.

And whether it was something that the Initiative did to him, or his own festering soul finally growing a spine and poking its head out from its hole, Ethan found himself blaming... well... himself.

The moment lingered in the air a lot shorter than Ethan perceived it to. The speed of one man's thoughts were bewitchingly deceptive at times. Before he had a moment to stop his own lips from forming the words, Ethan was one his feet, calmer than he had been moments ago, and reaching a hand out to indicate chase. "Rupert... I...” He didn't know what he wanted to say... Maybe it's what made Rupert one of the “good guys.” That, even though he really shouldn't, he offered help to Ethan. To think the manner that Ethan mocked and poked at Giles for all this time was something that Ethan was reaching out for.

"I'm coming.”

Word Count: 470 Tag: Rupert Notes: He doesn't want to be alone...
Credit: Jax

[rupertgiles]

The watcher saw out of the corner of his eye that Ethan had reigned in his frustrations, and that he was following him, as Giles had assumed he would. The pair of them had played their game so long, and Giles knew the sure fire way to win was to stop playing. But was it truly a victory for Giles? Ethan’s voice was a bit heart-breaking. The poor man truly must have had no idea what was happening to him. For Ethan to turn to Giles for help was a desperate move, and Giles just couldn’t comprehend why the warlock was so adamant that he remain in his presence. Even though the watcher had said he would help Ethan, it had been out of simple politeness at first. Now, it seemed that the closer Giles came to the pub, the more he hoped Ethan’s demure reactions were sincere. He earnestly wanted Ethan to want his help, rather than this being some kind of trap. That was what Giles had come to expect of his old friend. But this was a rare opportunity. Perhaps Giles could change things in Ethan for the better.

As he entered the dive bar, Giles eyes had to adjust from the sunny day outside to the dim, shadowy lighting of the pub’s interior. There were hardly any other people there, just a middle-aged couple at the bar. A small blackboard stand read ‘Please seat yourself’ in blue chalk, and in accordance, Giles made his way to a small table against the far wall, pulling out one of the simple wicker chairs to sit, not saying a word to Ethan. Within a moment, their server appeared, a polite, practiced smile on her face as she asked what they would to order.

”Two bourbons and a glass of ice water please. That’s all,” Giles informed the waitress, dismissing her with a cold glance of his eyes before Ethan could get a word in edgewise. He didn’t make to speak again, nor was he listening if Ethan was trying to speak. Rather, he was compiling what he would say to Ethan when his order arrived.

The waitress came back fairly soon, setting a shot of bourbon in front of each man, and the water in front of Giles. When she left, he pushed the two glasses before him over to Ethan, ”Since you seem so adamant that prevention of the guilt is out, we are left with rationalization, medication and discussion.”

These were at least how Giles dealt with the difficulties in his own life. Usually, his actions which made him feel stony and unfeeling he could vindicate in one manner or another, at least to himself. Also, even though he didn’t want to admit it, alcohol was something that Giles used once in a while to solve his problems rather than logic and planning, and he was fairly sure Ethan wouldn’t turn down a drink, which is why the pub setting had been so convenient. And, of course, he had lengthy talks with those he loved, although usually he was in the mentoring role, just as he was now.

”You can try to assuage your shame through your so-called religion, if you’d like a method for justifying it. Faith and substances work for many people who commit egregious acts, and might be a refuge for you,” Giles’ gaze drifted down towards the shots, wondering if Ethan might not drink them just to spite Giles. In any case, the watcher continued, ”Others choose to analyze and reflect upon their actions. So, if you would prefer to say anything else to say on the matter, now would be the time to say it. Or, conversely, you can drink until you don’t feel anything you don’t want to.“

+++

TAGS: Ethan
WORD COUNT: 627
NOTES: Sorry if it's a bit verbose... Also, I think Giles doesn't understand how Ethan thinks of him lol.