::OZ::Thinking With My Heart Again.

[daniel]

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Oz smiled at her enthusiasm. He watched the bounce in her hair, and the twist of her smile. His heart ached with memory. He wished this meeting could have been on his terms, but it was what it was. He took a few breaths, trying to stop thinking so bleary eyed. It had always been this way, since the first time he had seen her. She was something different, something special. For a while she had even been his. He loved being with her. Loved how she made him feel, and trusted her despite everything. He knew it wasn't healthy, he had come to that realization in China, but he couldn't let her go. She was his first, he had given himself fully to her.

His attention was far too much in his head right now and he had to pry himself back to the present. He nodded with a smile at her, unable to help himself, ”Cool. I'll be there. I'll bring dessert.” Sounded good enough to him. Then she started dropping names. Everyone would be there it sounded like. Well that would be exciting. So long as everyone was being civil. With Spike there, well he knew he was good now but Spike had been one hell of a bad guy for a very long time. Then again, with a soul, Angelus became Angel. So there was something to be said about the whole soul thing.

”No me in Rome was scary. Not worth being there or mentioning.” He meant it. She might have been hurt. Then again if he was with Willow he wouldn't have been in the hamlet on the outskirts he was. He would have been away from anything that would have angered him. It would have been nice for the company, but hell he didn't know if he was ready to see her now. It was all very confusing. He was usually pretty sure of himself, at least the choices he made. But where his heart was concerned he was easily confused.

”So there is a whole gaggle of slayers running around... cool. Gotta make life easier on Buffy.” He rubbed his chin and considered the implications. He would have to watch his step around the woods. If any of them caught him. He didn't want to explain it to them. He didn't know if they would understood. He just couldn't be cooped up and lonely. He hadn't realized how much he had missed his life. He had convinced himself that he was fine on his own. Truth was he wasn't. He craved human contact. He lived for the stage and without an audience he was feeling desperate for contact. 'Groupie free' as he had once said to Willow, though it wasn't quite the same.

He cocked his head curiously noticing how she seemed to catch up with her words about half way through the sentence. Her body language also changed. He decided it was better not to press it. He knew better then stepping over boundaries. Especially in this group. Everyone had some secret and he was going to keep his. ”Didn't make it to London myself. Figured it's already been done. Famous movies and all.” He subtly changed the subject. He had always been good at that.

”I guess no mater where I go I am a cliché. Kinda comes with the territory.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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Willow was so happy to have Oz over to meet the Gang again, it was going to be just like old time. They were going to have dinner then maybe all watch a movie, She could wait when they all found out he was back. “Don’t worry I will bring dessert for sure, maybe I will make some of my whole made cookies. I know the Gang just loves those, especially Spike.” She said with a giggle.

It seemed like Oz really was going threw a bad time when he was in Rome, it made Willow worried for him on what he was going threw. By the way it sounded it didn’t seem good at all, it seemed like he really was going threw a bad time with his wolf side then. So she understood that he really didn’t want to be around anyone, when Willow was dealing with her darkness she really didn’t want to talk or see anyone ether. Not in till she was doing better, which she did thanks to Giles.

With Buffy having more Slayers you think it make life easier but really it didn’t, all it did really was make Buffy have to work more. Having to find all the Slayers, get them to the boarding house, and then having to train them. She was tired all the time having to take care of all theses girl, that really were more like having a bunch of kids. “Well yes and no, Buffy does have a lot more help in Slaying but she is busy with these girls all the time. She is always training them, showing them how it done and what it means to be a Slayer. You know sometimes I don’t even think she sleeps, the sad thing is I’m not joking.”

She could tell that Oz noticed there was something that she didn’t want to tell him, which made her feel even worse about not talking to him about it. Almost like she should tell him all about what has happened to her since he been gone. After all he had told her all he had been threw, not holding anything back. Plus She didn’t like lying to him that had gotten her in enough trouble in the past as is, so she didn’t need to be doing it again. “You know Oz a lot has gone on with me while you were gone, I mean its part of the reason I went to London. Let just say a part of me came out that I didn’t like and I could get to go away. Not with out help anyway ” She waited to see what he would say after that.

Word Count- 450
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I hope this thread is ok, i had a bad headache doing these so my posts may suck
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[daniel]

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Oz tried to get a mental picture of spike eating cookies. The image however was lost. He just couldn't picture it. Sure spike had helped to save him from the initiative. And he had been a good boy, with the chip in his head and all. However Oz couldn't imagine him with a soul. He would have to see it for himself once he got over. ”When did you turn all Martha Stewart?” He asked playfully. When he had left they had still been living in the dorms. It wasn't that she never cooked, she just never really had the option outside of a hot plate. Usually they just went to the cafeteria.

His brows furrowed. Buffy on less sleep then usually, which had never been very much, kind of worried him. He felt bad for her. Sure they had never been close but he understood sleepless nights. It was a horrible thing to have to endure. Sure with her slayer stamina, but sleep needed to happen at some point. He shifted, not really knowing what to say on the mater. It made him want to help somehow, but what could he do. Well he could expose them to what a werewolf looked like, and what they should fear more then vampires. Sometimes, when he was in wolf form. He saw Angelus, like a half memory, backing away and disappearing in fear. Part of him was disgusted by the memory. The other part knew that if the situation arose again, he would be in control of the wolf and it would not be such a quick retreat on the part of the wicked vamp. ”Watchers go extinct I take it? Well except Giles. He is still around right?” He really was out of the loop.

Their food arrived, ending the awkward reintroductions for a moment. He picked up his sandwich and was about to start shoving the large thing into his mouth, when she brought up London. Her tone lend him to listening, he could hear the subtle nerves running through her voice. His heart ached for her, having something you couldn't control inside of you was awful. It was one of the worst sensations he had ever experienced. So he set down his food and reached out. His hand covered hers in silent understanding. She had told the right man. Hell he had spent nearly five years in the woods trying to learn just that. He thought he had it when he came back to Sunnydale, but he had lost his control on the full moon. Hell he would have killed Tera if not for the Initiative. They had saved her life.

The gesture was so familiar it hurt. He had done it so often, when they say at lunch, when they waited for monsters to burst in and kill everyone. It was strange doing it now, so distant and so close all at the same time.

”You know... There was one thing I learned from all my travels.” He squeezed her hand affectionately, ”Everyone has it in them to be a monster, some more then others, but it is what you do do control it that matters.” His voice held forgiveness. It wasn't really his place to give it, but he did anyways. He had nearly killed so many people as the wolf. It was only fair he forgave her the faults she had committed in his absence. His heart ached for those times though. As dark and confusing as they had been. He had loved her. With all his heart. ”You look pretty together to me now.” He smiled and removed his hand, going back to eating his lunch.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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It seemed like Oz was surprised that Willow could cook, she took this as some what of insult. “Hey mister I have always been able to cook things you know that.” She paused for a moment. “well kind of.” She said with a giggle. It was truth she wasn’t the best cooks of all, but man she could make some really good cookies. It made her happy that she could at lest cook something.

Oz had asked about Giles and what was up with the other watchers, he really was out of the loop. It seemed as though he didn’t hear what had happened to the watchers council , a lot of the watchers that were around aren’t anymore. The ones that were they really weren’t needed, it was the truth the Slayer had Buffy now. But Giles was still around as always, which is a good thing because the gang wouldn’t have made it as long as they have without him. “Yeah you are right there isn’t really any need for watchers anymore, plus the council is no more it got blown up. But yes Giles is still very much around with us. And even thought he really don’t need to be he still very much acts like Buffy’s watcher.” They really did love having him around he was more like a father to them then anything else, and he always will be.

Oz really was being there for Willow right now, the things he was saying really were making her feel better about all she done in the past. It seemed like no matter what she had done in the past he still didn’t care, he still cared about her and wanted to talk to her no matter what. He really did have some great words of wisdom for her, and it was the truth everyone did have a monster inside of them. Willow just hopes hers stays at bay for good. “ Oz it is the truth everyone does have a bit of a monster in them. But yeah I’m together now but a couple of years ago I didn’t feel like I was at all. I couldn’t control anything that I was doing, it was a real mess.” After she said that she let out a breath before picking up her glass of water taking a drink. She really did feel a lot better now more then she have had in a long time, it made her wonder where he was when she needed him two years ago. She really could have used a friend then

Word Count- 430
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I'm sorry if this post sucks
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[daniel]

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Oz smiled at her, glad to see he could still get a rise out of her without truly angering her. It was one of the things he had loved about her. She was passionate about every thing she undertook and it made her quick to defend it. He couldn't help but miss the little things. Things like her outbursts, or how she shaped words with her mouth. He flushed pink behind his ears and shoved a few bites of his meal into his mouth to hide the embarrassment his thought chain had evoked. “Well I bet they will be amazing.” He finally said trying to be placating, not wanting to leave her miffed. “I can try to bring something but my place doesn't exactly have a full kitchen.”

He was right his hotel room had a microwave and a sink. It was hard to cook anything there. That didn't mean he couldn't cook. Living alone had taught Oz the basics. Mind you most of his cooking experience was at a campfire with some animal he had managed to catch but he wasn't going to mention this. It would probably freak her out. He remembered how upset Willow had been when she found out animals were being mauled in the woods.

His eyebrows actually rose near up his forehead at how casually she mentioned the watcher's council being destroyed. It seemed like something that should warrant fear, however the way she said it made him think that perhaps their little group of Scoobies had something to do with it. He remembered vaguely that they had been rather controlling of Buffy, and had been more then a little angry when she refused their tests. It seemed that she had taken care of the problem for good. He didn't know if it warranted blowing them up, but still the problem was solved. “Well I am glad Giles didn't get blown up. Stuffy as he is, I liked him.” He said affirmatively.

Oz had spent his own time trying to control himself. The pair of them together during those years would have been a force of destruction akin to a hurricane, or worse. He regretted he could not be there for her, but he did not fault himself. He wasn't ready to see her, much less handle her control issues on top of his own. “You think I was much better?” He asked her, looking over his sandwich. His eyes took on that wolfish gleam that sometimes slipped through, a predatory look that spoke of chaos inside his together exterior. “I mean magic is some heavy stuff, but at least your human at the end of the day.” He said the last part softly, to avoid others around them from hearing. It was true, then again she couldn't blame her lack of control on the animal like he could. Her mistakes were her own. He felt for her, for the damage it must have caused. Still he forgave whatever she had done, he couldn't hate Willow. No matter how hard he tried.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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Oz did seem a bit surprised when he heard the watchers council had been destroyed, the gang was as well it came as a shock. All thought a part of Willow thinks it might have made Buffy happy, she really did have to put up with a lot of there drama. “Yup they are gone for good. But yeah Giles is still around and more stuffy then ever.” She said with a giggle.

Willow could tell that Oz inner wolf was really starting to get to him, having to control it all the time was really was starting to bother me. A part of Willow wished that she could just make it all go away ones and for all, and that he would never have to turn ever again. No more of having to be sacred of full moons, making sure he was in a certain time, and having to be locked up for three days out of the month. He never would have to worry about that ever again, but that is if Oz would even let her try. He wasn’t really a fan of magic or spells, but he did understand and care that Willow really enjoyed it. Especially with how she is with It now, its not just magic with her. Its something now that is a part of her forever. If it wasn’t for her magic she might not have been able to survive the apocalypse like so did, Or get all the potentials all threw for that matter giving them there power.


It really hurt Willow knowing how much Oz hated what he was, wishing he could just get rid of all of what he is. Willow then put her hands on Oz hands tying to comfort him. “ Oz you know I wish there was some kind of away that I could stop what is happing to you, a spell that would just make all of the pain and change be put to a stop. But with how you were changed makes it a part of you, I really don’t think there will ever be a spell like that. Sadly we aren’t that lucky” she said with a quick giggle. But with what all had happened to them it was the truth

Willow really didn’t want Oz first day be nothing but sad talk, she wanted happy talk on whats to come of him while he is there. this was his first day back with the gang as well something else that was needed to be celebrated. “So Oz what is the plan while you are in town then? What are something you have to take care of” The curious Red head asked the boy.

Word Count- 450
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I'm sorry if this post sucks
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[daniel]

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Oz, despite his best effort, could not imagine Giles any more stuffy then he had been. The man had piratically become a library in his efforts to educate himself, and them. It seemed, well impossible. Unless the man had turned into one giant book he thought she must be over exaggerating, something she was awfully good at. It caused a quirked smile to appear on his lips. He thought it was cute, always had. That way her mouth sometimes got away from her. She used to tell him it was his job to stop her when she got like that. The memory evoked fondness and pain.

He shrugged, it was all he could really do. There wasn't a fix for lycanthropy. He was a werewolf until he died. Which, because of hunters and other dangers lurking in the night, was somewhat short. Locking himself up dramaticly increased his life expectancy, and that of all those around him. It was hard for a hunter to find him if he wasn't slaughtering about in the woods like an animal. It was easy enough to control now, though around her, he still felt vulnerable to the beast. His eyes dropped to her hands as they covered his in safe familiar warmth, hers were smaller, but not by much, they were by far softer. He let his gaze lift to her face, and it paused at her lips, trying not to remember the feel of his own pressed to them. He found himself craving the contact and he turned his hands over to lightly hold hers. “Don't worry about me. No more midnight escapades.” He said confidently.

Her next question caught him off guard. He knew it would come up, but the answer wasn't that simple. He carefully removed his hands from hers, feeling the strain of the action. He wanted to hold her, to pull her into his arms and tell her how much he had missed her, and still loved her. However she was a different woman now, who apparently loved other women. He concluded that he was being weak, falling pray to old emotions he was trying to separate from the woman. Plus he had so little human contact over the years he craved it, he needed to be cautious. “Would you believe the wolf lead me here?” He pondered her with a fixed, steady stare. He was dead serious. The monster in his chest had pulled him here, for what reason he still didn't know. “I think something's coming Willow.” He said cautiously, “Something big. Otherwise I wouldn't have come back.”

He looked down. They hadn't left on the best of terms last time. He could tell she was glad to see him, but he doubted she had wanted him to come. They had left friends, but not on great terms. Almost eating her girlfriend hadn't helped. Yet he loved her still.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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Willow knew she shouldn’t worry so much about Oz but she just couldn’t help it, she cared so much about him and for him. Even though they weren’t together anymore she still cared about him and how he feels. She didn’t want him sad or hutting. “You know Oz I know we aren’t together anymore and you don’t think I should worry about you, but the truth is I do worry about you and still care about what you go threw. I don’t think that will ever change no matter what, I will always care for you and I will always love you.” She then stopped thinking about what she had said, because now Oz did in fact know that she did still love him.

Willow didn’t know why but a part of her just wanted to get up and hold him tell him everything was ok, maybe even kiss him. But she didn’t know why she didn’t need to feel those feeling anymore they were over and done with. She didn’t feel that way for him anymore, or at lest she though she didn’t. She always knew that she did care and love him, but she didn’t know till now seeing him how strong those feels still really were. It almost had Willow sacred right now, she didn’t need to feel this way at all because she was sure that Oz didn’t feel the same love that she was. But then again who really knows what was going threw Oz head right now.

Oz then begin to tell Willow how his wolf side had let him back there, which had Willow wondering why. Was it because he did indeed miss Willow. But then Oz said he was beginning to think that something big was on its way to the town. Which if that was so that cant be good, what else really could go wrong for the gang now. Like they needed anymore drama they all ready had enough up there sleeve as is. “Oh god Oz if that is true and something is coming then we need to tell Buffy and soon, what you think it could be?” She asked in a scared like tone to her voice.

Word Count- 370
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I'm sorry its kind of short
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[daniel]

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Oz nearly spit out the sip of water he had been taking. He set his glass down and swallowed hard. When he managed to look up his eyes met hers with canine intensity. She loved him. His heart contracted against it. If she had loved him so much why had she moved on. Why had she fallen in love with Tera and left him to go back out into the world alone? He knew he shouldn't have bailed, but it had been the easiest, and safest solution. He wished she would have just waited. Then again, what with Varuca and then his almost murder of Tera...He couldn't imagine leaving on worse terms. How could she still love him, and why did his heart answer the call so eagerly. Was he trying to hurt someone, was he trying to hurt himself?

He took a slow breath, “Willow I worry about you all the time. I wonder who you're with and if they make you happy. I find myself imagining they hurt you, not bad, but a little, so I can swoop in and save you like I used to.” he looked at the table and clasped his hands uncomfortably, “I imagine you pull me into your arms and we kiss just like we used to. I would whisper that everything would be ok, touch your hair...” He paused and looked up at her carefully. The fantasy didn't need to go any deeper into the touching part, she knew where it had always lead.

“Then I get jealous, or upset, and the wolf comes out... and you look at me with so much fear in your eyes it kills me.” he was silent a moment and he took another slow breath, “I still love you Willow. Despite everything. Even knowing I might turn and kill you, and that scares me.”

He looked up at her pleading her to understand. He knew her magic was greater, but if he suddenly changed, and she wasn't ready. What if he bit her? What if he killed her? He couldn't live with himself. He was dangerous and he knew it. His control still left something to be desired where Willow stood. Yet despite the risks he could feel himself being drawn to her, wanting to hold her, to caress her. It was suicide. He would hurt her, or someone she cared about, and Buffy would take care of the rest. He didn't want to put any of them in that situation. “I don't know if I can take that risk anymore.”

Thankfully his later words sunk in and the subject changed. He didn't want to think about them right now. It hurt, and it confused him more then he would admit. He wasn't ready for this conversation. He wasn't ready to go back to her, and he was having trouble letting her go.

“Now hold on.” he waved his hands carefully. “I don't know what it is, it might be nothing. The wolf pulled me here. I made a guess.” He took a slow breath, hoping she would imitate. “We shouldn't worry Buffy until there is something to report. A bad feeling doesn't tip the charts of strange anymore.” It was true bad feelings, unless they were Buffy's, were mostly harmless. He could have been drawn to Willow after all. He had always been pulled towards her. Then again he had caught the scent of another werewolf on his way into town. But he wasn't going to bring that up. If they were adjusted like himself he would just be endangering them, and if they turned out to be dangerous, hopefully the gang wouldn't blame him for their actions.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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She was a loss for words while he was telling her all this, she really didn’t know what to say. She was so happy and in shock by what he was just telling her. All of what she had wonder over the years was in fact true, he did still care, he did still worry for her, and he did in fact still love her. She couldn’t help but get a bit teary eyed when she heard all this, Willow just though it was always something she would just hear in her dreams from him and that it could never be real. She worried that Oz would never feel anything for her after what she did to him, how she had left him for Tara. She never meant to hurt him, if she never would have met or felt the things for Tara like she did for. She would have gotten back with Oz in a minute, there would have been no question about it.

But Oz was in fact gone for so long she couldn’t help what she had begin to feel for someone else, and it would have been fair to Tara not to give her that chance She is glad she gave Tara that chance because in those few years she did they were the best. “You know Oz I really don’t know why, but I’m thinking those same things you are now. Of how we would just hold each other tight not waiting to let go, feeling so safe that nothing could hurt me in your arms. I do miss that a lot. I’m sorry that I hurt you Oz and that I had to go rune it all for us, but I just though you were never coming back you know I’m sorry.” A tear started to run down her cheek, but she wiped it away fast hoping that he didn’t notice. The last thing she needed to be doing was crying in the middle of a restaurant were people could see.

He then begin to tell Willow how his wolf would come out because of her, and that he didn’t want to take a chance of hurting her. She really wished that he wouldn’t worry, he wasn’t going to hurt Willow not now anyway. “Well I really wish you wouldn’t worry about me, trust me I’m stronger then you think. I mean I could rib skin of a man bones if I wanted to. But I mean I wont do it I’m juts saying” She said thinking back on what she had done to Warren Mears, someone she will hate for the rest of her life. A part of her doesn’t even feel bad for what she had done to him. But she wont tell that gang that ever. Willow then got real serious again with Oz putting her hand in his. “Well Oz I understand why you that you feel that way, just know that I will always love you and care for you. Bust most importantly I will always be here when you need me.” She said to Oz with a smile.

As for what could be coming Willow was a bit worried, but Oz was right there was no need to tell Buffy in till they knew what was going on. She all ready had enough on her plate as is they didn’t need to worry her more with things. “you are right Oz ,but as soon as you find out anything that could be coming are way we need to tell Buffy right away.”


Word Count- 595
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I hope this post is ok I was really out of it when i wrote it. LOL. But god I just love them, so sweet.
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[daniel]

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Every word was a knife. Oz forced himself to maintain eye contact. He didn't let himself look away, or do that thing where he just checked out. He had to listen to what he was giving up, maybe forever. He wanted her, God did he want her—which reminded him of a Halloween once spent together—more then he even had when he had returned the first time. Yet he employed what he had learned, self denial. He took a few deep breaths and calmed the raging torment of his emotions. He tried to remember why he had been so mad, why he fled every time, and the wolf responded by lashing against his confusion, begging to be free. That was the exact reason. She brought out the animal in him. He wanted nothing more then to forget all his hard won training, become lost in her. To let himself just be the monster three nights a month and lock himself up, so he could be with her and forget all this erroneous shifting. He knew he couldn't. That would destroy everything he had worked for.

He stayed silent though. They were toxic he had decided. Each one doing things by mistake that did nothing, but harm the other. It had all started with Willow and Xander and it got worse each time. His stint with Varuca, and then finally her love transferring to Tera. He acknowledged that Willow was better with Tera. The girl could have given her some semblance of a real life. They could be human and never worry that a bit of rough love making ended in her becoming a monster too. Sure she could defend herself against him, but what if he lost it in the middle of something, what if she couldn't cast fast enough? All these doubts had always lingered in his mind. He didn't want to subject her to it again.

Next thing he knew she was asking him not to worry. He stared back up at her distantly and cocked his head. He felt that her words echoed a bit too much truth and deigned not to ask. That was not a story he needed to know. He was sure that he had some of his own she would never want to hear. Most of his early ones she had witnessed. Now? He was someone different, someone who had lived through more hardship then anyone should in a life time. Not to mention she had done much of the same. Thankfully she avoided the subject and spoke about leaving to London. He could relate. “Why do you think I left?” He finally asked carefully. Perhaps that could make her see why he had to do it. With Varuca some part of him had come out. He hated that part of himself, the part that had wanted the monster. He had craved her like a drug. His human side had been disgusted, but the wolf side, just under the surface, wanted to revel in the beast that she was.

He hated what she had made him so much he left to find a cure. To find a way he would never hurt Willow again. He had found as much as he could. He had discovered how to take control of the animal. For a while he had even managed under the light of the full moon. Now? He couldn't do it. Something the initiative had done to him, and perhaps a part of him regressed upon learning about Tera, had left him without that control any more. He felt impotent, he could control his shifts, but not under the moon. It was illogical. “I would have stayed if I thought there was another way.” he glanced down to his food and toyed with a french fry anxiously.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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Willow could tell that for some reason all this was really hard on him, it was almost like he couldn’t look her straight in the eye. It told her that he was still hurt from it all, which made Willow feel bad and hurt for him. But that also meant that he did still in fact care for Willow, and maybe even still loved her. At lest a part of her still hoped he felt that way, because she did still feel for him and she would hate to be the only one. A part of her even still wants to be with him. She could tell that it seemed like he was really trying to calm down, she could tell by the breaths he was letting out as he sat there. She begin to worry if he was trying to control his wolf side from coming out here, she could see that from how he was acting. If that was so she wanted to show him that she could in fact help him control it.

So Willow placed her hand on tops of Oz’s hand, this time with a bit of her magic and essence flowing threw. Not a lot but enough to keep him calm, feel better, and stop from turning. “Are you Ok Oz you seem like something is wrong, if you need to leave or go home I will understand.” Willow waited to see what he would say after touching his hand with her’s hoping it helped and worked, because she really wasn’t ready to go home yet. She wanted to stay here and be with Oz more. She was enjoying herself more now then she has in a long time. She knew that had a bad past that she still felt so horrible about, she wished that she could take back the pain that she had caused him. All of it even when he had to see her with Xander, it wasn’t right of Willow. In way she disserved it when he got with Varuca, after all she did hurt him first. She can never make up for what she had done and in past, but she hope that she can at lest start showing him she is sorry.

He then had asked Willow why she though he had left, a big question that she had to answer digging from her emotions inside. “Well I know why you left, I mean it did hurt but I do understand.” She said stopping for a moment taking a breath. “ I think a part of you couldn’t look at me after what you done, because you knew that you hurt the one person you loved more then anything. But I also think that you needed to go find yourself after everything. You wanted to understand your wolf side more, you know.” She tired not to get tears in her eyes after that, having to explain why her first love had to go and leave her.

He told Willow that he would have stayed if he could, letting her know it was because of her being with Tara. Which she still feels so bad for, but she couldn’t help that her heart had found another, there was just something about being with Tara that made Willow feel something she had never felt before. Tara is also part of the reason Willow is the witch she is today, if it wasn’t for her help and love she wouldn’t be as good as she is now. And she love Tara more then anything for that. “I know you would have stayed Oz if you could, I’m so sorry things couldn’t have been different. I hated having to see you hurt leaving like that it killed me. You have no idea” She said still trying to hold back tears.


Word Count- 640
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I might have godmoded a bit with the hand thing, if you want me to change it i will just let me know.
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[daniel]

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Oz felt something push through him. It calmed his human soul. Relaxed him, however the wolf didn't trust it. The beast recoiled and hid in the depths of his mind, quieted, but anxious. He tried to ignored the emotion as it fell over him like a veil. Despite his human side being calm, the beast was not the same, and it distrusted what it didn't understand. Magic seemed to be one of those things. He needed to drink his brew sooner rather then later, to dull it's mind once more. If it hadn't been for Jordy he would have had plenty, but he could not leave his aunt defenseless against a teenage werewolf.

Despite his better judgment he shook his head. “I can stay. For a while anyways.” He carefully withdrew his hand, feeling the connection break, and it hurt. To pull away from Willow always hurt. He couldn't stand leaving, and for that very reason he should leave. Yet he stayed. Talking, listening, allowing her into his life again. He could never cut her out entirely. She was a part of who he was. A part of his fondest memories, and also a part of some of his worst.

She answered his rhetorical question carefully. He should have known she couldn't resist analyzing him. He let her, hoping it would be somehow cathartic. Maybe she could finally let him feel ok about it. He dropped his eyes however at her calculating reason. He had hoped what he had done would not be brought up, he still had not accepted what had happened between himself and Varuca. He doubted Willow could ever forgive him for it either.

He rose his eyes at her next statement though and his green met her like colored ones and he sighed, a heavy sigh that spoke of years of burden. Years spent alone, and without friends. Not trusting himself enough to allow such a risk. He still didn't know if he could. In times of extreme emotion he could become the monster, forget everything he had learned. It wasn't fair to the people around him. He couldn't help it and it hurt. “Willow it hurt me more then I ever show to leave you, but I couldn't be here. Not like that. Not with the risk that I might...” He trailed off and frowned leaving it at that.

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[Willow Danielle Rosenberg]

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She hoped that he felt that, she wanted him to feel her essence going threw him. She wanted so much to help the monster inside, she wanted to be able to show him that there could be a them again. Willow wanted him to know that if she was with him he couldn’t hurt her and that she was safe. But she knew that it probably didn’t matter, she knew that all the damage that had happened to them had probably ruined all hopes of them ever happing again. She really did know what she was even thinking right now. She knew that she shouldn’t be thinking this way, but she couldn’t help it there still was a part deep inside that loved him so.

He hadn’t said anything so she was sure he either didn’t even notice or feel it, But he did almost seem like he really didn’t want to let go of her hand. She really didn’t want to let up from him ether, Willow loved feeling his hand in hers. She felt so much safer like nothing could harm her She just really didn’t want Oz to leave her yet, she had missed him so much and didn’t want this to end. They had so much that they really didn’t need to catch up on. “Well I’m glad you can stay with me for awhile, I really don’t have anything else planed for today. Buffy is busy with Angel and Kathy, and Giles is busy with something I’m not sure what. So my day is pretty much free.” She said while exhaling.

She understood why he had to leave, she is part of what makes his animal go crazy which Willow hates. She doesn’t like the fact that she is what sets it off, she loves Oz and she wishes so much that she helped him tame it. “Its ok Oz I know that you didn’t want to hurt me I get that, and I know that it hurt you too leave trust me I could tell. It hurt me to see you leave upset like that. A part of me just wanted to run after you and not let you go. But you know that I couldn’t do that.” Willow then took a drink of her water trying to clear her throat, she was trying not to cry and get all choked up. But with all this it was really hard, she wished so much that he didn’t hurt like this. Willow just wanted him not feel like he was going to hurt her, because he wasn’t going to. But she knew there wasn’t anyway not to let him feel that way. .


Word Count- 450
Tagged- OZ
Outfit- Click to see Willow's Outfit.
Note- I'm sorry if this post sucks
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[daniel]

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Oz stared at his now empty plate. He frowned slightly. He loved being with Willow. He wanted this to be normal, to be the way it was. He doubted there was any going back. What with her being a witch and him being a werewolf. Well things didn't exactly get normal. Throw in the slayer and you had a whole bucket full of things that could go wrong. It was as if he was asking to be hurt. He glanced up at Willow and gave her a smile.

“Works for me. I'm not busy with anyone but you.” He said pleasantly. It was torture, for him anyways. Like sitting too close to a fire. He wanted to be there. He needed to be close to her, yet he was worried. Always worried. There were so many risks. He also didn't trust himself. Not around her anyways. Willow was everything he had wanted, and he had been denied. He curled his fingers into a fist to resist touching her. It was better that way. His heart didn't ache so much if he didn't touch her.

Her words made him squirm a little in his seat though. He wished she had chased him. Told him she loved him more then Tera. Proven to him he was more important. It hurt, even now it made his heart gape at the hole she had left. He had missed her, he had missed them, but Willow had made her choice. “Look Willow you proved where your heart lay back then. I..” He trailed off staring at her sadly. He took a couple deep breaths, letting go of his heartbreak for now.

“I missed everyone...” he said carefully. He didn't want to get into his feelings on her leaving him for Tera. He had forgiven her for the change of heart. However it didn't make it hurt any less. He wanted her to have been his, wholly. He wanted that back, but he knew taking it was endangering everything he had once loved. “Where should we go next?”

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